sloppy cubanos

Here’s the update on my phone situation.  I’m sure you’ve all been waiting with bated breath.

So as I mentioned before, I dropped my iPhone while completely sober and trying to juggle groceries and unlock my door. I used said broken phone for a few weeks until shards of glass literally started falling out of it and I realized I needed to do something about it.

Did I have an upgrade? No. Did my sister use my mom’s upgrade for the 87th time so that she could get yet another phone? Yes. #middlechildsyndrome #butitstrue

I’m pretty internet savvy, if I do say so myself, and managed to sell the phone on eBay for $100. I initially felt guilty about this, imagining that it was some illiterate person or an old person or a child who somehow missed the part of the listing title that said “CRACKED SCREEN.” Fortunately, the buyer was one of those iDropped or iCracked or iAmAnIdiot phone places that will probably fix the screen and re-sell it as brand new. Snaps for you.

Buying a new iPhone was well out of my budget (which is $0), but I found an Android phone for $80. Yeah, I made $20 from breaking an iPhone. Snaps for Erin. Except that I haaaaaate this phone. I am such an Apple brat and I can’t figure out how to work the stupid thing. I’ve been using an iPod touch to take pictures which is why they’re fuzzy because I’m boycotting my own phone.

Back to the food.

Does this title sound offensive? I don’t mean it that way. Blame Rachael Ray.

I made these the same night as the weird red velvet cake for the Dexter series finale. Dexter takes place in Miami, so I decided to make a dinner inspired by the setting.  This is a combination of a Cuban sandwich (classic for Miami) and a sloppy Joe. Dexter got sloppy and ruined everything. I’m so metaphorical.

Sloppy Cubanos

adapted from Rachael Ray

1-2 tbs olive oil

1 lb ground pork

1/2 lb chorizo

1/2 onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp paprika

1/2 tsp ground coriander

2 tbs brown sugar

1 tbs Worcestershire sauce

juice and zest of one lime

1 can diced tomatoes

Swiss cheese


hamburger buns

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet. Add the chorizo and cook for 2 minutes, then add the pork and cook for an additional 3-4 minutes until browned. Add the onion and garlic. Add the spices, sugar, Worcestershire, lime, and tomatoes. Continue to cook for 7-8 minutes until thoroughly combined.

dexter 009

dexter 010

Scoop out the hamburger buns and toast under the broiler. Pile on some of your sloppy cubano mixture, then top with a slice of Swiss cheese. Place back under the broiler until the cheese melts. Top with pickles and serve.

dexter 011

dexter 012

I promise to start using my real camera. RIP iPhone.

PS This was also excellent mixed with some whole wheat penne, ,sans pickles and bun. Do it.

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