Sometimes I think I need to get off social media.

Even though the election nonsense is mostly over (Hey, Texas- no one is letting you secede from the union), the things that get put on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. just make me want to hurl.

Real tweet: “OMG! People need to STOP telling me I look like Jessica Alba! #lol” Yes. I feel oh-so-sorry for you that you are often compared to an extremely attractive celebrity who has beautiful children and a hot husband. That must be rough.

Posting on Facebook at 2 AM that you’re STILL working on homework? Maybe you would have been in bed by 10 if you’d get off Facebook. Just a thought, smartie pants grad student.

And I love Instagram as much as the next fake-hipster, but using it as an outlet to take photos of yourself is just ruining it for everyone. This isn’t MySpace, folks. Stop the selfies. (Unless you’re The Face Baby. You can do no wrong.)

So sometimes I take days off at a time just to keep to myself and be momentarily blind to the idiocy of America. A little bit of isolation.

Another piece of happiness that is just for me? Two cookies. Peanut butter and chocolate. Vegan. Less than half the calories of my previous vice, the mug cake. Everybody (just me) wins.

Single Serving Vegan Cookies

adapted from Chocolate Covered Katie

2 tbs whole wheat flour

1 tbs rolled oats

2 tbs brown sugar

pinch of baking soda

1 1/2 tbs creamy peanut butter

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp applesauce

small handful of chocolate chips.

This is pretty straightforward. Mix everything together, dry ingredients first (including chocolate chips) then the peanut butter, vanilla and applesauce.

Shape into two cookies, and bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes. I like to stick these in a ramekin and eat them with a spoon. Usually I ruin the vegan-ism with a glass of milk or a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Does blogging count as social media? I guess I’m a hypocrite in more ways than one.