Let me preface this by saying that this is NOT a Valentine’s Day post. I dislike Valentine’s Day, always have and always will. And NOT because I’m single, Judge-y McJudgersons.

These brownies are not heart shaped, they are not covered in pink frosting, they are not to be shared with your honey. They are to be eaten alone, in their entirety.

Moving on, shall we?

I’ve been craving brownies lately, which is strange because they’re usually my last choice for a dessert. On a hypothetical dessert tray, I would choose cookies, cake, cupcakes, or bars over brownies. They’re like the redheaded stepchild. But apparently in my chicken hating, raisin bran loving world these days I just wanted some g’damn brownies.

And then I got this in the mail.

Danielle got me a subscription for my birthday. This is why we’re best friends. This issue was complete with an insert booklet of 50 Brownie Recipes. It was a sign.

So I made brownies not once, but twice. The first recipe came from the Food Network magazine, and we ate them for dessert over ice cream after pork and egg lo mein (recipe coming soon!)

The second I made today to eat tonight while I cringe over Glee’s interpretation of Valentine’s Day (do NOT get married, Finn and Rachel!) and Real Housewives of Orange County. Team Tamra and Vicki. Get a job, Slade.

The first recipe is the classic fudgy brownie. As I was making them, Kelly peeked her head over the couch and said “Wait, you’re not using a box?!” Stranger things have happened, Kel.

They’re a one-pot wonder and came out delicious! Definitely better than the box.

Fudgy Brownies

Melt 2 cups chocolate chips and 1 stick butter in a saucepan over low heat, stirring. Off the heat, whisk in 3/4 cup each light brown sugar and granulated sugar; cool slightly.

Whisk in 4 eggs, one at a time, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Stir in 1 cup flour and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Spread in a lined and greased 9×13 pan and bake at 325 degrees for 45 minutes.. reserving a spatula-full of batter to test.

As usual, I cut the recipe in half even though I had people to share the brownies with. It’s always a good idea. Especially when Aaron is scooping the ice cream.

After I had immense success with the healthy cookie dough dip, I figured why not try mixing legumes into dessert again? Black bean brownies seem to be all the rage lately and if I’m going to be eating the whole pan I should be getting some fiber and protein. They’re also gluten free! So I can share them with Danielle.

Black Bean Brownies

adapted from Meal Makeover

1 can low sodium black beans, well rinsed and drained

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup natural unsweetened cocoa powder

3 eggs

3 tablespoons vegetable oil

1/2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp instant coffee granules

1 tsp vanilla

pinch salt

1/2 cup chocolate chips

Puree the black beans in a food processor until they become a smooth paste. Add the remaining ingredients except for the chocolate chips, and blend until combined.

Add the chocolate chips and pulse a few times until mixed in. Pour into a lined and greased 8×8 pan (or a pie pan because I couldn’t find my other one) and bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

I cut a little wedge to taste them before the massacre tonight, and they were excellent. You can’t taste the beans at all, and they’re nice and dense. The coffee brings out the chocolate flavor, as I’m sure a large glass of pinot grigio will later. Or a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

So happy Tuesday!

And by the way, Words with Friends, my mom is indeed my valentine.

Tell me something I don’t know.